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2 Days until winter closure....

MONOLITH: Oi Dave, what time is it?
DAVE: two thirty.
MONOLITH: Then go to the dentist and stop speaking like a child.

3 Days till closing for winter...
DAVE: So why do scuba divers fall off the boat backwards?
MONOLITH: Well if they fell forwards they'd still be on the boat.

4 Days until winter closure...
DAVE: Today I learnt that context is everything because "I'm sorry" and "I apologise" don't always mean the same thing.
MONOLITH: So where were you when you figured this out?
DAVE: A funeral....

Closing in 5 days.
DAVE: Where would you find a cow with no legs?
DAVE: Pretty much where you left it.

Closing for winter in 6 days.
DAVE: What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of salad?
A chicken sees a salad....

Dave's Marriage Guidance Tips #22.
For Christmas or a Birthday gift buy your partner a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.

MONOLITH: I saw that your buddy, The Tin Man was caught in the middle of his heist by a policeman on a road roller!
DAVE: Yeah, silly sod was foiled again.

DAVE: Charles Dickens, lovely chap, great writer but a terrible cook.
MONOLITH: What was wrong with his cooking?
DAVE: Ugh, he was obsessed with only one seasoning, his spice rack had only the best of thymes and the worst of thymes!

MONOLITH: Hey Dave, want a sandwich?
DAVE: Yes please, make me one with everything.
MONOLITH: What, are you a Buddhist now?


3 months ago
One of the tastiest wood fired pizzas we have eaten. True local hidden gem in Portree Skye.
- James T
4 months ago
Great pizza and great chat. The pizza is amazing and the garlic bread is just something else. Gutted we missed out on the first 2 days of our trip or we'd have probably been on a pizza diet for 3 days. P.s don't recommend sharing a slice with the dog, you might miss that slice.
- Robyn x
4 months ago
We didn't know where to eat while staying in Portree, pizza is always fine right? That pizza was awesome! Fresh ingredients and a guy who loves his job! It was absolutely delicious! I would give 6/5.

Wood Fired Pizza

Wood Fired Pizza

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Howdens car park
United Kingdom
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