Pizza in the skye

DAVE: I proposed to my ex-wife yesterday but she said 'no', she thinks I'm only after my money.

Dave's Daily Zen #19
Two sheep in a row boat in the middle of the ocean when a nothing floats past the boat.
First sheep asks: "Did you see that"?
Second Sheep replies: "Nope"
First sheep agrees : "Me neither"

MONOLITH: Nice black eye you got there Dave, where'd you get it?
DAVE: Freakin' zebra went postal at the photoshoot today!, I only asked if he wanted the prints in colour or black and white....

DAVE: What's blue and smells like red paint?
MONOLITH: Blue paint....

DAVE: Holy cow! It's so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!

MONOLITH: Losing a wife can be tough.
DAVE: Some may say impossible.

DAVE: "Sorry Sir, but we don't serve time travelers here" said the bartender.
MONOLITH: What?
DAVE: So a time traveler walks into a bar.....

DAVE: I can't remember what the soft tissue found between sharks teeth is called.
MONOLITH: A slow swimmer?

DAVE: I've postponed my job interview with Apple until the end of summer.
MONOLITH: Why?
DAVE: Imagine working in an office without windows on a hot summers day!